Well, you could not have started with two more different recordings! I daresay i tend to share your preference for the Mehta approach over Bernstein's. I like the 2nd to be really intense and almost bitter in the first 3 movements. As I am a Mahler 2nd junkie, I have bought and resold more recordings than I care to mention. I used to own both of the ones you mention, but I no longer do.
There are so many things that really have to work in order for me to like a recording of the 2nd. I guess I keep buying recordings in the hope that I will get "THE one". I do not like the 1st funeral march movement to drag. BOTH soloists have to be good. Many recordings get a good alto, but settle for a soprano that is forced. And I like to hear the organ at the end. Many recordings excel in one or two areas, but fail in another.
If you like the Mehta VPO recording, you might like his DVD audio recording with the Israel Philharmonic. It is basically the same fast and intense approach as the earlier recording, but with incredible sonics. Florence Quivar and Nancy Gustaffson are the solosists. I would prefer a slightly "lighter" soprano than Gustaffson, but she is not a deal breaker. The organ is the BEST ever, IMO. Maybe the only way the organ can be loud enough is with multi-channel recordings? In many stereo recordings, it just sounds like a roar or simply blends in with the rest of the orchestra.
Other recordings I currently admire: Otmar Suitner with the Berlin Staatskapelle and Herbert Blomstedt with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra (though I could use more organ in each of those). I also like Bernard Haitink's BPO version. Jard Van Nes and Sylvia McNair have sung the alto and soprano parts many times, and they are great on this recording. However, IMO Haitink rather drags out the finale more than I would like. McNair is perfect, though, and in the DVD video version, you can hear the organ rather well.