Do you know any Mahler jokes?

[Jot N. Tittle]

Please allow me to rip this topic out of the Mahler birthday query and begin a new thread. As I just reported on the Mahler birthday thread, someone recently asked me, "Aren't all Mahler jokes really long?" I thought that was sort of a Mahler joke in itself.

Agree? Can you top this? (I'll bet I'm the only one here who remembers the radio show with that title, starring Peter Donald, Joe Laurie, Jr., Harry Hershfield, and Senator Ford--Senator was his nickname, not his title.)

If nobody knows a Mahler joke, perhaps we can construct one here, a line at a time. Here's an opening:

There was this guy (traditional opening) who goes into a funeral home.

Next?

     . & '

[barry guerrero]

Mahler walks into a funeral home and announces, "I just flew in from the coast; and boy, are my arms ever tired!". Then the guy standing next to him shoots a plaintive look back and says, "dunkel is das Leben, ist der Tod". Mahler thinks about that for a moment; then finally says, "that's really good; I'll see if I can't work that into my next number". Then another guy says, "forget the number; give it a name instead".  Then Mahler quickly replies, "what? superstitious?"

[Ivor]

And the first guy says,"Is that some kind of joke?"





Since this is a German joke, the reference has now ro be explained.

There's another joke that begins,"An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub and the barman says,'Is this some kind of joke?'."



I'll get my coat.

[Jot N. Tittle]

Not bad, considering the possibilities in a funeral home. On reflection, the funeral home opening wasn't all that good for a joke.

Let's try this opening:

One morning, Mahler is seated alone at a corner table in Demel's, having a slice of Gugelhupf with his coffer, and...

     . & '

[barry guerrero]

This will have an oblique reference to a specific Mahler event that happened in Budapest.

So Mahler is at Dehmel's, reading the papers and having his morning coffee. He sees the bus boy and asks him to bring over some sugar. Meanwhile, his coffee has gotten cold, so he tosses it over his shoulder and splashes it on the guy sitting behind him. "Hey! - what's the meaning of this?", the guy yells. Mahler sheepishly says with a question mark, "alles vergaenliche ist nur ein gleichnis?". Then the herr Ober (head waiter) shows up with the sugar and asks", "one lump or two?". "Don't hit me!", cries Mahler.

[Ivor]

and in walks his friend Wolf, who says, "Gustav, what's the coffer for?"

[Jot N. Tittle]

I suppose all of this means that Mahler jokes are rare. Underdone?

     . & '

[stillivor]

  I've come across a short Mahler joke.

  it turns on the idea that listeners noticed allusions, borrowings and so on in his music.



  A boy is spotted making his way to Mahler's hut, carrying a load of scores by various older composers; Beethoven, Mozart etc.

   One wag says, "I see Herr Mahler is composing again."


    Ivor

[Jot N. Tittle]

OUCH!

And what does the other wag say?

     . & '

[Amphissa]

A boy is spotted making his way to Mahler's hut, carrying a load of scores by various older composers; Beethoven, Mozart etc.

One wag says, "I see Herr Mahler is composing again."

Pointing out the huge piles of scores already surrounding Mahler, the other sneers,

"No doubt this one will encompass the entire world!"