I have three of the four you mention, and I used to have a Bernstein version on laserdisc. It has been so long since I have heard/seen it, I cannot really comment on it.
Of the remaining three, I like them all. The Haitink is the oldest, and has the most static camera work, and is shot for 4:3 televisions screens. It's a good version of the symphony, and Sylvia McNair is at her most most radiant in the soprano part. the soloists (Jard Van Nes and McNair) stand next to Haitink's podium. Also, there are no subtitles, which I find annoying, as you may be showing the video to someone unfamiliar with the work. It features Dolby Digital and DTS sound.
The Abbado is shot in 16:9 aspect ratio, and will fill up an HD TV screen better than Haitink. I thought it a good performance as well, and both soloists are good. Abbado has placed the soloists (Anna Larson and Eteri Gvazava) back with the orchestra in front of the chorus. I have always felt that the finale (after the chorus is done) was rather rushed in this performance. Also, I don't like the show-offy quality of the Lucerne performers in Abbado's videos. They always seem to be jumping around and swaying to add "visual excitement" to the performance. After a while, one tires of their gyrations and the very busy camera. Strangely, at the work's end, the audience seems sort of lackluster and not very enthusiastic.
The Boulez is also shot in 16:9 and also features Dolby Digital and DTS sound. Of the three, I like this one the best. I have the HD DVD of it, and the picture is amazingly sharp, and the multi channel sound quite vivid. The soloists are fine here as well (Petra Lang and Diana Damrau) and they are placed back as in Abbado's DVD. They blend beautifully in the parts where they sing together. For the most part, the director does a great job of highlighting the orchestra members who are in the thick of the action. The Berlin Staatskapelle is becoming one of my favorite orchestras, after hearing them in this and Barenboim's Beethoven cycle. Boulez at 80 almost looks like the work is too much for him, but he hangs in there, and the audience (including Daniel Barenboim) are most appreciative.
All three are good versions of the symphony, and this is one symphony that really works best live, IMO. Though I have all of them, I tend to revisit the Boulez recording the most. Really incredible sound and playing.