Barry, looking at the score, I suspect that your argument is with the composer and not with conductors, musicians or sound engineers. The tuba and horn parts are marked fortissimo, while the melody instruments (trumpets with trombones an octave lower) are triple forte. Also, it will be difficult for the tuba to stand out since it is doubled by bassoons as well as low strings playing tremolos, which will soften the character of the sound even if it adds decibels.
I spot checked the recordings I have on hand (Vanska/Lahti, Maazel/VPO, Kurt Sanderling/Berlin Symphony, Karajan/BPO, Davis/BSO, Horst Stein/OSR [on vinyl], Paray/Detroit), and while I think all are effective, Lahti, Maazel and Davis come closest to meeting your desires. Nobody's tympanist is not building a garage, perhaps merely a garden shed.
I haven't listened to Sibelius symphonies for a while, but I'm not really dissatisfied with any of these, and I'll put in a good word for Sanderling: strong performances captured in good sound.